creating distance and too much broccoli

There are certain situations in your life, where you don’t find any solution to your problem. It may keep you up at night, distract you from work and has an overall bad influence on your mental well-being. Last week, I created a problem on my own and although everybody warned me and told me not to do it, I did it anyway. Which problem am I talking about? If you’ve read my last post (which I recommend): https://jathildadiaries.wordpress.com/2021/06/27/letting-go-and-heartbreaks/ you can see, that I’m talking about getting over someone and letting go. This post was a really personal one and in the following I will share more about how I’m feeling. I figured that since this blog is a diary about growing up, I might as well take you with me, through the good and the bad. However, I promised myself to create distance from this one person, that caused me so much emotional chaos in the past. I kept this promise until last Saturday. My friend’s parents were out of town, so he invited a couple of friends over to his place. Including me and that person, let’s call him Bill.

The funny thing is, I really thought, that enough time had passed and that I’m so over him. Jokes on me. My dad begged me to stay home, because he could already foresee the consequences of me seeing him again. But me in my pride didn’t listen. Right now, there are hardly any things that I would rather do than kicking my Saturday’s ass, forcing her to stay home. When Bill heard, that I was also coming, he even picked me and my best friend up and we had a really fun time. So, where’s the problem you may ask? The problem is, that I didn’t get some good sleep since then, my thoughts are all about him and that I may have made the wrong decision, when I decided to limit contact to stupid-heartbreaking-Bill. In conclusion: I was stuck again.

That’s when I decided to get my life back together. The first step to achieving that, was again creating distance from everything. I’m studying in a city, which is 3 hours from my hometown (by train), where I’m living in a dormitory. When I arrived there on Monday, I already felt a touch of release.

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So this is my first advice to you: changing the scenery. Seeing other places really gets you out of your head. For that, you don’t have to leave the country, which is hard anyway since there’s still a pandemic going on. Taking a walk through the forest or visiting a nice lake will also do.

On Tuesday morning, I went grocery shopping and bought my favourite veggies and fruits. Also there is something about broccoli, that’s therapeutic to me. I know, it may sound stupid, but I always eat broccoli, when something’s off. That’s why I celebrated this green goddess in all it’s variations during the last days: grilled, in a salad, put into pasta, as a casserole. That should cover at least the next three breakdowns.

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

That’s my second advice: treating your body well. For me, a balance between comfort food and veggies always helps. Also getting some movement and fresh air. Wow, I really do sound like an old lady, don’t I?

Yesterday, I met a friend, we laughed, talked and just had a good time: exchanging news just some funny anectodes with friends really nurtures my soul. But if you need some time alone, that’s totally fine, too. I also can’t go out everyday. Always know, when your social battery needs to be charged.

What about today? Today, I decided to write this post, since I wanted to let you know about some new findings: It’s okay, if you aren’t as far as you thought you would be. Things take time. Especially good things, like breaking old habits. Letting go of. Creating a sense of self love and self worth and remembering, that you’re the person, that you can always count on. Treat yourself as such. I read a quote, that said something like „growing feels like breaking in the beginning“. I can totally relate to that. Just remember that big things don’t happen overnight. It’s all a process and you shouldn’t stress yourself, when you recognize, that you didn’t make the progress you aspired to make. Or when you find yourself falling back into old patterns. Instead, be proud of yourself for willing to make a change. For even realizing, that this is not what you want anymore. For taking steps towards a happier life in the first place. So don’t let a setback distract you – keep it up!

– Jathilda